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As most of you know, we’re currently in the midst of finals week here on OurStage where the top 20 entries of every channel are battling it out to get into the top 10 by end of today. So, let’s check out some spamworthy videos and see if they’ll make it into the semi-finals…

AnImAtIoN: “Road Test”

I’m just glad that my drivers license is still valid for several more years. This may be why Paris and LiLo are in so much trouble with the Highway Patrols. I say this video will make it into the next battle round.

CoMeDy: “Tootsie Blow Pop”

…wait, Mr. Owl! Oh no, ;o(

I’m indifferent with this one.

WaCkY & WeIrD: “Enough”

Who gave this man a video camera? You need to take it away from him…pls. Seriously, this is enough for me.

I would like to thank Mr. WATSON for the scandalous thumbnail of this Spam episode! It gives OurStage a whole new look and leaves me speechless…

I hope you enjoy these new channels. There are some amazing videos out there and remember to email me at ejjulie@ourstage.com if you have some spam-worthy ideas. Ciao…

Andy and I had such great laughs shooting this spam episode. As soon as I pulled the pantyhose down my face and started talking…we couldn’t stop the laughing. OMG, I almost fell to the floor and Andy had to turn away so that his laughing wouldn’t make me laugh, but I laughed anyway. It was hysterical!

Ok, just got this email in my spam folder and thought I would share it with you all.

Here’s a new way of looking at Math! Like, what makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, you can see that with mathematical certainty that Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top. Wow, you learn something new everyday. Forward this on to all the hardworking colleagues to know.

Have you checked your Inbox lately for the latest spam?  Well…do it now as there may be some funny stuff in it like this one below.  I’m just glad my company has a totally different viewpoint…

Dress Code: You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

1. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s note as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.

Personal Days: Every employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers.

Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under The “Chronic Offenders” category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.

Lunch Break: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management

P.S. Pass this on to all who are still employed.